good weekend

i have reverted back to sophomore year of highschool, which, can only be a very good thing.
my parents have been away, so i have been weekending in their crib with my friends.

LI is actually pretty magical.
we have gone thru a case of white star and walked around exclusively without socks or shoes on clean cold proper hardwood floors and it has felt wonderful.
last week, we propped ourselves up on my moms convertible and smoked the dankest shit our career.

we screamed really loud, from one floor to another, and sang and danced and carried on, "CHANNEL 55 HURRY UP! WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER- ITS ALMOST OVER" and ate and drank and didnt clean up.
then, when it was time to leave for nyc, and only then, did we utilize manners.

long islanders are just so retarded. i really love how all LI diner owners are called nick and wear mockturtlenecks and how none of the waitresses listen to your order. they assume you want sauerkraut and pickles with your challah french toast (you do?)
i love the ubiquitous LI forced alliteration on shop signs "KARENS KANDY SHOP" and balding dads in juicy couture sweatsuits. all women wear cableknit sweaters and burberry and use those handsfree earpieces. people are really into hibachi steakhouses and fro-yo.

last weekend, when i brought my friends out, every single patron in the entire restaurant dropped their forks when we walked in the door and stared blankly.
that actually made me feel really good about myself.

the same was true this weekend, when the other kids came.
this time, we drove around listening to peanutbutter wolf and serge gainsbourg, a little TI, MFDoom, tapes n tapes and the walkmen, for good measure.

we went to check out PS at target, and when we left, an 18 yr old marshall mathers, who was driving, and two small creatures who sat in the rear of the suzuki sidekick, had the audacity to cut us off we exited the parking lot.
the results were not pretty. we had just watched the chase scene in mr+mrs smith and incidentally my friend drives the very same car (sans stripes). good times my friend good times.

i did two loads of laundry, jacked two cases of water, and any other decent leftovers, and we drove back into nyc.

my parents return on tuesday, then no more fun on LI.

the end?