jenna jameson v. helen keller

during a recent rather heated charades tournament these two marked females (jj and hk) were mistaken for eachother SEVERAL times. that is how good my acting is.
as i mentioned in a previous entry, to heighten your social life you may want to give my friends (the jack ginger bearing hoollagans from karaoke) a call.

one crazy summer

i know i am alone on this one but it occured to me that i hate summer.

maybe its just summer in nyc; schoolgroups from pittsburgh, tour buses from the roosevelt field mall, colonies of white girls in terribly unflattering babydolls from h+m, meatheads pounding frozen drinks in flourescent colors, twirly straw and all, carrying on, yelling, hugging eachother, then punching eachother, monopolizing your favorite neighborhood joint and bumrushing the 3 outdoor tables like it was the motherfucking scramble for africa.

i like hot weather in places where its meant to be hot. (reference: seasia) those places were scorching, yet glorious, and everybody carried on in long sleeves and long pants. hawaii isnt terrible, and puerto rico, mexico, bahamas, those places don't actually matter. st louis, which does matter, was oppressive during the summer but was never as unbearable as this nyc nonsense.

somebody's boss said it was okay to wear open-toed shoes, and to please commence talk about hampton shares, and then god jacked up the ac on the 6 train.

i am not a hater, but i cannot deal with this madness. i plan to flee nyc at once and return to my amish paradise on japan's pacific coast where i wrote in pencil for 2 years and drank chilled royal milk tea out of a can from a vending machine. i was a nine minute walk from the beach via bamboo forest (true story) and when the roaches, locusts, dragonflies, and the terrifyingly bulbous spiders emerged from the tatami, thats how you knew it was summer.